Our Pursuit of Happiness

I think happiness is the most crucial thing in our life. It's the thing we want most from our life, it's the destination of our so tiring journey of life, and of love. And since it's our last destination, it's only fitting if it is also the hardest thing that we might achieve.

Before we delve deeper into the concept, I would like to point out that happiness is a lot different from a happy feeling. Happy feeling is very easy to achieve, we see it everyday, it happens on simple matters. Like when a child gets balloon, when a student finally graduates after 4 year long studies, when a worker gets a paycheck at the beginning of the month. These are happy feelings. A feeling of joy that will last for several hours at most, before it turns to another worries.

The happiness that we seek, is a feeling of joy, of peace, and maybe of freedom, that will stay forever in our hearts. It's a more divine feelings that we can't conjure in days. It requires a very long journey, very long years, to finally achieve it. The path to happiness is not a one-way road, it's tangled with intersections, turns, and dead ends. Every turns, every path is our own choice. There's no right or wrong, no black or white, no certain answers. It's not an exact science that you can count and formulate, it's a journey of hearts, of truth, of self discovery.

Our pursuit of happiness is often clouded by our own limitations. Our wishes, our dreams, our ignorance, our pride, our fears, our will to seek instant happiness. These are our obstacles. We are incapable of ignoring them, we have a giant curiosity to fulfill and we keep pursuing the wrong things and thus dragged further from our true happiness. I think the only person ever to achieve true happiness is Buddha. He is able to leave every distractions behind, and therefore granted an eternal peace of mind.

I believe we all are still struggling on this pathway, trying to find our way around, trying to find our selves. Every turn we choose, every decisions, will likely cost something worthy from us. The journey to true happiness, is the exact same one that will lead us to pain and sufferings. It is our ability to rise above the pain that will make us stronger to keep going. However, we are racing against our own fear, fear of getting hurt, fear of pain.

Our journey to happiness is always be a battle of our bravery and fear. Will we rise or fall? Will we give up to our fear, or will we stand against it?

The Time-keeping Concept

The Befriending Process

So, a while back I was talking to one of my best friend in university. We have been graduated in 2012 and now experimenting the cruel world of reality. I was working in a totally new environment: new city, new job, and what follows next would be new friends. Unfortunately, the last one is not as simple as I thought. Apparently, according to my best friend, people in our workplace are not supposed to be our friends.

Workplace is a place where different people gather together with different agenda. Some pursue fame and popularity, while others pursue wealth. So, by default, the objectives of a working person is always self-centered. Also, there are people with higher grade than us (that would be our boss, senior, manager, etc.) and there are people with the same or below us. All of whom have their own point of views and we might unintentionally step on their toes one chance or another. There's also office politics, which I don't quite understand and don't intend to find out.

For a fresh graduate whose parents have never worked in a company, this knowledge is something new to me. Something I would be happy to reflect upon. I won't lie, but I'm intrigued with the idea. Is it true that our colleagues can't upgrade their status' to be our friends as long as we still worked together under the same management?

My friend said that the time when we're supposed to make friends is during our school time. In a workplace, you're looking for a way to pay the bills, not to play nice with people. "But, isn't it a little harsh?" I think to myself. I have no problem to be friends with anyone, but the thought that I might be thrown under the bus makes me uncomfortable. On the other hand, there is just no way for me to survive without a single friend in the workplace. It's just not possible, especially I'm working on something that requires me to do team work. How am I supposed to do my job without making friends with my team?

I remembered one of my dean used to say that as a designer we are taught to express our authentic ideas in our work. Sadly, authenticity requires solitude. It is our idea and our idea alone that we expressed in our design, causing us to feel uncomfortable working with other designers. But, as an animator, it's our job requirements to make friends with people we work with, because let's face it you can't make awesome 2 hour 3D animation movie alone. So, as an animation graduate, I'm wired to not be able to work in solitude. I have to be able to make friends, even if I'm thrown under the bus once or twice. 

The Talk and The Deed

"It is better to do without talking, than talk without doing."

This weekend, I chose my way back to God by going to Church and participating in Focolare gathering. My life has been very unsettling these last few weeks and I feel that I have to go back and start over. So there I was, sitting in the Word of Life meeting in Pandeyan, Yogyakarta. Word of Life, or in Bahasa "Sabda Kehidupan", is a monthly gatherings held by Focolare movement to support each other in living truthfully according to the Law of God. What we do in these gatherings is we took a phrase from the Bible, and we try to apply those phrase in our daily life during that month.

For those of you who don't know, Focolare is a youth movement all over the world founded by Chiara Lubich in 1943. Its main purpose is to create a united world of people from all age, vocation, religion, conviction, and culture by respecting and valuing diversity. For more information, visit Focolare web page in http://www.focolare.org/usa/en/.

The phrase we took in September is from the first chapter of The Gospel of John, as written in the picture. We were told to 'love thy neighbour', to love without intention, and more importantly, to love in truth and action. A while back, I was strolling through 9gag, and found a post about how we all have this annoying friend who would post Bible passage in social media, while we know that this particular friend lives far away from the Law of God. This sad truth is the proof that not all of us able to love unintentionally, unconditionally, and that most of us choose to love in words, rather than in action.

When we love in words, we show what we do to other people, and we are praised for that. But when we love in actions, most people will not notice what we do, we will not be praised, but the person that receive our love will remember us for the rest of their life. For me, this brings more than enough relief than any praises I might get if I love only in words.

I remembered one of my friend thanked me, out of the blue, for some good deeds that I did two or three years before that. And as I recall, I didn't even do much back then. I teared up, because I was so happy that she still remembered it, and still feel thankful, hopefully, to this day. Because then, I have become God's instrument to bring happiness to others. And to me as a Catholic, being God's instrument is the highest honor a child can get from her Father.

Revision: A Prayer for B'reishit

Lord, hear my prayer—

My mind is filled with falsehoods about You.

Today let me rewrite.

Give me the courage to delete the rotten first second third and hundredth drafts

That deny You,
That blame You,
That slander You.
It is time.

Guide me to write a different, better story.

Teach me the true meaning of the garden, the snake, the apple, and the fall.
Scrub from my mind the lazy oft-told tales of punishment, trickery, and abandonment.
Let me retire the ego’s clichés and distortions, O Lord, and bid farewell to the misconceived central character:
the psychopathic, jealous trickster,
the crude caricature of paternal retribution,
the off-planet deity watching over us impassively, folded-armed, while we rot and writhe, our cries falling on deaf God ears.

I declare this vision of God to be false, and I ask that any remnants of this lie be erased from the crevices of my consciousness.

Let me learn anew. Let not the guilting of grandparents lead me to fear and reject the guidance of the other:
The Sikh,
The Sufi,
The Shaman,
The Hindu,
The Buddhist,
The Christian,
The Gnostic,
The Kabbalist.
If it is wise and true
—If it bears Your cosmic fingerprints and the quiet perfection of Your voice—
I will listen.

Let me live with the compassion of Buddha and Quan Yin and Mother Mary,
Let me write with the sacred clarity of Rumi and Hafiz, Wordsworth and Blake.
Teach me to surrender like Mohammed and pray like David,
To be fiery like Rama and fierce like Jesus.

May I not fall into the deification of any man—for You alone are God—but may I let the example of their light guide my path.

When I am weeping like Arjuna on the inner battlefield, may beautiful blue Krishna—the divine charioteer—lift me up and remind me of the Truth:

I am That.
Thou are That. All this is That.
That alone Is and there is nothing else but That.

Let me remember the divine dance of the Mother-Father, always, lest I fall into the dog-eat-dog foolishness upon which so much cruelty and injustice is based.

(When the Father said, “Let there be light,” the Mother answered, “And there was light.”)

Erase the imprint of atheism from my mind, Lord.
And while You’re at it, please remove: guilt, shame, anxiety, depression, comparison, competition, vanity, arrogance, and sloth.

Let the false prophets and holy bullies turn inward.
May they recognize the battle is never outside themselves.
For You do not exist in the world of opposites.

The madness of this world is our own.
We created it, we perpetuated it.
You do not endorse it.
You are innocent.
We have created You in our image.
Forgive us.

How am I to know I am being heard?
Because I am speaking to myself.
You and I are not separate.

Heal the wound in my psyche that stubbornly claims otherwise,
For this is the ego’s well-constructed and persistent lie:
You are alone you are alone you are alone.

Like a train schedule blaring on a loudspeaker, it is repeated. Over and over.
Daring us to relent and believe that which is false.

The bite of that apple was terrible indeed.
It convinced us we were not You.

Let me bear the weight of the responsibility for these errors of thought, speech, action, and perception as I learn to walk the razor’s edge of virtue.

May I always hear the steady vigilance and unending love of Your voice guiding me home.

All else falls away.
Only that which is unchanging is True.

Thank You, Mother-Father God,
 for this new beginning.

Taken from http://www.reformjudaism.org/blog/2013/09/24/revision-prayer-breishit

I get this link a while back from my friend. It's a Jewish prayer written by Josh Radnor. For those who don't know, Josh Radnor is an American director, actor, producer, and writer. He is best known portraying Ted Mosby, in the hit CBS series How I Met Your Mother. The prayer is excerpted from Unscrolled, a book about the new meaning of the 54 Torah portions which is written by 54 Jewish writers.

I am a Catholic, so I don't know much about Torah and Jewish initial teachings, but we do share some of the belief systems since Jesus was of Jewish descendant. The first time I read this prayer, I was moved because of the beauty in the words he used. It was a beautiful prayer, so humble, yet so divine. The more I read, the more I get the point, the more I'm in awe with this prayer. As human, we're not supposed to be so narrow-minded and drawn into our own religion and belief that we ignore other teachings that may complete what we think we already know.

We already know that truthfully, all religions are good, and the main teachings is to bring peace to the world. We know that, yet we haven't achieved peace yet. Not even after 2000 years. Not in the world, not even inside our own religions. The prayer is an interpretation of what might be, from Josh's point of view. If only we are humble enough to acknowledge other teachings, if it is wise and true. If only we are humble enough to listen. Yet we are trapped in hatred, of each other's religion, of each other's beliefs. We are too hung up on our differences that we are blinded and easily steered away from peace that we so desperately seek.

The madness of this world is our own.

We created it, we perpetuated it.

You do not endorse it.

You are innocent.

We have created You in our image.

Forgive us.

This paragraph is so simple, yet so powerful. It's a wake up call, a reminder that we built our own hatred towards each other. We are locked inside our own definition and we're not allowed to peek outside. Our fear are so strong that they allow our self not to look beyond our own understandings. Yet we believe that others are false. We are trapped in delusion that others are trying to misguide us, even when we have no idea of others' definitions. Let us achieve peace inside us, by accepting what might be.

Let the false prophets and holy bullies turn inward.

May they recognize the battle is never outside themselves.

Living The Dream(?)

Prelude

Gee, I really should have done a better job writing my blog. I saw the archive and realize I only wrote ONE post in August. Although, I know that August is not my best month so I might not be in the mood.

The Story

Anyway, I have been having some dreams lately about my childhood friends and some old scenes I remembered from my better days (Or should I say easier days? Hmm..). It got me thinking of a pretty awesome quote (as written in the picture above. :p).

I always thought that we're not supposed to do things we don't want to. There are many quotes to support this thought, like: "Do what you love and love what you do.", "Do what you love and the money will follow.", "The future belong to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.", "Follow your dreams, they know the way.", and one of my favorites from my favorite idol, "Dream, believe, and make it happen." I have been living by these quotes ever since I know dreams can come true. Obviously, the path is not always easy. There are bumps along the way, some higher and tougher than others.

Now, here I am. I managed to do my dream job, in a city I've always dreamt to live in, living a certain lifestyle I used to imagine when I was a teenager. I literally am living the dream. But, here's a question: aren't people who live their dream supposed to be happy?

What ifs

I am somewhat superstitious. I'm open about zodiac preferences, palm-reading, and dream interpretations. So, naturally, when I'm dreaming about something I worry about, I look it up in http://dreammoods.com. You know, just for fun, in case the interpretation is something positive. But even if it's not, I like knowing the possibilities. :)

The website said that having a dream about your childhood, "...signifies regression into your past where you had no responsibilities. You may be wanting to escape the pressures and stresses of adulthood." Now that triggers another question in my head, "Am I under pressure and/or stressed?" My answer is, "Maybe."

I am left thinking, "I am living my dream. I am satisfied, but not exactly happy. What if I do the other one? What if it makes me happier? What if it doesn't?" There's just so many what ifs I keep losing track.

Friends - 10 Seasons in A Glory

So, I was re-watching all episodes of Friends during Eid holiday. The total 10 awesome seasons and I think to myself, "This show has successfully made me laugh every single time I watched them, even though I have already watched them over and over again." This is such a spectacular show that every sitcom after this show, took its parts to be implemented on their own*. Well, at least that's what I thought. :)

So, what made me incredibly fond of this show?

1. The story is so down to earth that it might happen to any of the audiences

I remembered watching a similar series that aired at somewhat similar time, Beverly Hills 90210. This series didn't really 'get' to me, perhaps because their world is just so different. What with the upper-class settings and lifestyle, Beverly Hills hardly make any impression on me, not even a bad one. Friends on the other hand, leave such a strong imprints in my head. I was around 14 or 15 when I first watched it, and like any normal teenager I was trying to find where I'm standing and where I'm heading to. Friends created an illusion of what my future might look like. A bunch of friends in their twenties, trying to make their way through New York, living together in an apartment, struggling to pay bills and help each other in job and love life. It was just so appealing.

2. Each of the characters have these uniquely annoying traits, but they stay together until the end

First, as the main character, there is Monica. She is organized, controlling, and acts as a mom to other characters. If Monica lives in this era, she is what you might call a person with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). She is actually really annoying with her controlling habits, but she is also reliable in some situation.

Then there is Ross, Monica's nerdy brother. He is a very nice person, handsome, neat, and smart. He is very nervous around women so it's kinda funny to see him. Ross is Monica's older brother, but somehow he was pictured to be the spoiled one in the Geller family because he was favored by his parents.

Next, there is Monica's high school best friend, Rachel. Rachel comes from a socialite family and has never live alone before. She is pictured as a selfish little princess that always got what she wanted. But because she ran off from her marriage, she decided to live with Monica and tried to make it on her own.

Chandler is Ross' best friend and roommate in college. He is an office worker, working with something to do with inputting numbers (I don't really get what he did.. :p) and he make a lot of money. He is somewhat bitter and sarcastic because of his broken family but he is funny and always makes jokes when uncomfortable.

Chandler lives with his roommate, Joey, across the hall of Monica's apartment. Joey is an American-Italian actor with not-so-great skill in acting. He is very good looking but also very dumb. Joey eats a lot, most of the food comes from Monica's apartment since he didn't get much acting jobs.
Last, there is Phoebe. Phoebe used to be Monica's roommate but they had a falling out because Monica is too controlling. Phoebe has a lot of unique characteristic and may come off as weird. She sings a lot of depressing and rather odd songs with her unique guitar skill. She used to live on the streets and therefore the toughest of everyone in the group.

3. The group dynamics are incredible

Friends really shows what a true friendship like. Although I have to say that the group is a bit dysfunctional, but these group of six is an illusion of a perfect friendship. Ross and Rachel's relationship reflects a quite traditional fairy tale. A nice and nerdy guy finally get together with the popular cheerleader girl, although there are some unusual situations like when they're sabotaging each other's relationship with other people and when they have a baby together. Chandler and Monica are a surprise. I never would have imagined these two together, but I admit they make a pretty great couple. I always thought that Phoebe would end up with Joey because as we can see they have a great chemistry. But the fact that Phoebe is finally getting married quite satisfy me as an audience. And in such a breath-taking wedding too. :)

Other than happy endings for each of the couples, the character development is also great. I think the most developed character would be Rachel, because when she comes to the group she is this spoiled little princess who can't do anything and even as a waitress, she can't get anything right. After a lot of hard works with ups and downs, she finally managed to be an executive in a fashion industry, a job that she actually  loves. Monica also successfully developed into a loving mother of two with Chandler and she also managed to be a head chef in a classy restaurant. Joey finally get his big break by starring in a WWI movie, while Phoebe finally settle down and get married to Mike. Ross get the girl of his dreams, with a daughter and a son who is raised by his ex-wife.

All in all, to me, this series is the only one that can make me sad when it's finally reached its final episode. It provides a great ending and closure to all of the audiences.

*I was born in 1990, so I haven't had the chance to watch other friendship-based series like M*A*S*H or Seinfeld

Good bye, guys. Good story. :)

Ramadan and The Fasting Culture

It's this time of the year again, yes it's Ramadan month. Ramadan is the ninth month of Islamic calendar when our Muslims brothers and sisters are fasting. Fasting, in Islamic teaching, means Muslims are prohibited to eat, drink, smoke, or perform any sexual acts since before sunrise until after sunset. It is also expected that during Ramadan, they are abstaining from sinful speech and behavior. Muslims considered Ramadan as a holy month because it is in this month that The Quran is given to Muhammad by God. When Muslims do good things in Ramadan, supposedly they will receive more rewards than when they do it any other time of the year.

Although I'm not a Muslim, I have been participating in fasting since about 3 years ago. To me personally, fasting is an act of humility. We are restrained from our usual behavior (eating, drinking, cursing, etc.) and we are expected to live in peace with each other. By fasting, we have a chance to take a short peek about other people who have lesser life than ours financially. Fasting teaches us to be grateful of our life and empathize others.

Muslims fasting is different than Christians'. First of all, it is done during Ramadan, the ninth month of Islamic calendar, during which Muhammad was believed to have received The Quran from God. In Islam, Muslims are prohibited to eat anything during the day. They do suhoor, which is the pre-fast meal before Fajr Prayer, and they break the fast by doing iftar after Maghrib Prayer. In Christian teachings, fasting is done during the liturgical year called Lent. Lent period lasts for about 6 weeks (approx. 40 days) leading up to Easter Sunday. Christians fast following Jesus' own fast which He did for forty days in the desert where he endured The Devil's temptation. Christian fasting is the reduction of one's intake of food to one full meal. We are allowed to drink water but we are not allowed to eat solid food the whole day except the one full meal. Complete abstinence (avoidance of meat the whole day) is also required for those who are 14 or older. It is usually done each Friday during Lent period. There are five type of abstinences: food abstinence, tobacco smoking abstinence, alcohol abstinence, pleasure abstinence, and sexual abstinence. When we do complete abstinence, we are not allowed to do each of those abstinences.

Personally, I do both fasting each year as best as I can. It's a great moment for self-contemplation, spiritual reflection, and improvement. It has nothing to do with my belief, but it has everything to do with my self improvement. I feel I have good chance to be better person by keeping a mental reminder of where I am right now. Fasting is one of my personal reminder about the unfortunate, so that I can stay grateful of my life.

Happy fasting. :)

(P.S. My sincere apologies if I write something wrong about Islam since my sole source is Wikipedia.) 

The Culture of Cheating

Recently, I have been remembering things from my past. The time when everything was simpler and all I had to worry was homeworks. The first time I cheated was when I sat on the 8th grade. As a student, I considered myself pretty good at every lessons. I managed to get decent grades, even without cheating. I cheated because I wanted to know what it feels like. As many of you know, at the age of 14, everyone follows their friends behavior. That's exactly what I did back then. I cheated because everyone else did.

I personally think cheating is a cultural thing. Everybody who ever goes to school cheats. Well, for the sake of everyone else who doesn't, let's say 90% of students cheat. It's not that they are stupid or doesn't want to try to learn, it's just because everybody else does it and sometimes, the teacher couldn't care less if their students cheat. Many of my friends back in high school studied together. Sometimes, I would join and tutored them a little. Doing our homeworks were easy, and everybody could do it without copying each other. We would share our answers once we had done to double check. But when in test, my friends would copy each other's works. It was like they didn't have the confidence to did the test without cheating. That's why I think that cheating is part of the school culture, just like prom dance, seniority, popular and nerdy kids, etc. It was part of school life, at least from a student's point of view.

I had this one friend, who has the resources to study with private tutors and study groups, but still ended up cheating to get better grades. At another point in my life, I had this one friend who was already the best in some practical lessons, but as it turned out he cheated his way through the theoretical lessons to get perfect score. There are many reasons why student cheat, and nothing can justify them right. Cheating is cheating and it is wrong. It's actually sad that it has become a cultural thing, especially in schools. On the other hand, I didn't think it would be easy to erase the cheating culture.

However, everything is possible as long as we make the first step. I think it will at least reduce the number of cheaters if we start at our self. If I didn't cheat, other people will see my not cheating and hopefully someone will be moved to stop cheating. At one opportunity, one of my friend actually said, "If everybody else cheats, why shouldn't I?"



Hopefully one day, I get to rephrase the question and ask,
"If everybody else doesn't cheat, why should I?"

At first, there was murder.

1 Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” 2 Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.

Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. 3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. 4 And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

6 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

9 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”

“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

10 The Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. 12 When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.”

13 Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is more than I can bear. 14 Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.”

15 But the Lord said to him, “Not so; anyone who kills Cain will suffer vengeance seven times over.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him.16 So Cain went out from the Lord’s presence and lived in the land of Nod, east of Eden.

--New International Version, Genesis 4: 1 - 16.

This story was supposed to be about the first murder ever recorded in history. The cause of the incident was a simple jealousy. Cain felt jealous because The Lord preferred Abel's offering than his. The Lord told Cain that it was simply because his offering were not the best. He said, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?" Cain's pride was hurt because he felt superior to Abel. He was the first son, he was supposed to be the best, not the other way around. So instead of admitting his fault, Cain attacked Abel and killed him.

Jealousy is the main cause of a rotten heart. It's also the first motive for murder in this modern day. The other two are money and revenge. Its sibling, envy, is one of the seven deadly sins. Jealousy is a very powerful tool that cause to people destroy each other. People who lives in jealousy are incapable of happiness. They lost their purpose in life, because they keep worrying that they will lose. The only thing to overcome jealousy is to let it go. No matter what we do, what we earn, what we'll become, eventually everything ends. Christians believe that everything and everyone is God's gift. Therefore it's not really ours. He gives, He takes. We are just temporarily holding it for Him. Theoretically, we can't lose what's not ours.

By believing, we can never lose anything.

And then we die

As some of you may probably guess, this post is a result of a recent funereal event I attended. My father's brother passed away last Tuesday so I went home to attend his cremation ceremony. In Chinese families, the standard procedure when someone passed away is to put the deceased in a funeral home (or his/her own home), in this case, for 3 days. Families and friends gather around to pay respects, send prayers, and saying goodbyes. I met a lot of people, relatives or friends, many faces, many names. Some of us come to pay respects, some to channel their grieving process, some to meet old relatives and friends, catching up after all these years. The one that couldn't make it, sent bouquets showing their condolences.

The first two days were hard. People came and went, families stayed behind. But the real tragedy was the last day. The day the family realized, we had to put an end to this grief parade. The day that he has finally gone (for good, maybe? we don't know). Many years of life, of relationship, crammed up in that last 3 days. How many people came? How many people cried? How many people stayed until the last moment? How many people willing to give up 3 days of their life to stop and say goodbye?

Be who you are

There are literally too many people in the world. Sometimes, it's rewarding to make other people happy. But if you try to please them all, you will never be pleased.

The (un)Fairness of Life

How many times have you said 'life is unfair'? (Probably more than you care to admit. :D) From many people I've met in my life, I learnt that everyone thinks they have the most miserable life when they have a problem. People often think that life is unfair because when they're miserable there are plenty of people who aren't. But the thing is, there's no such thing as fairness. The fairness we want, the fairness we imagine, doesn't exist. Which is why life will never be fair.

Suppose two high school students A and B. A is the usual trouble maker and a cheater while B is the usual nerds who never cheats before. One test, both of them cheat for a different reason. A cheats because he doesn't want to try harder, B cheats because he didn't have the time to study and was doing two part time jobs the night before to help his family. Both of their test got zero because they cheat. B thinks the teacher is unfair because it's the first time he cheat and not for a bad reason. A thinks if B doesn't get zero it means the teacher discriminated him because both of them cheat but he's the only one punished. What's fair for one, doesn't always fair to another.



Life is never fair, but everything has its own consequences.

Fact and Fiction

I might have mentioned before in my previous post that I watch a lot of TV Series, mainly western, and I observe an interesting phenomena (if I might said so, dramatically). There are a lot of characters in TV series that we, the viewers, deeply loved. Some of them are the lead character, while others are more of a sidekick but somehow become way more lovable than the main character itself.

Recently, I realized that there are some people around me who behave similarly to these lovable characters. Do we love them in real life? My answer is no. They are either self-centered, arrogant, or just plain jackass. Either way, I found out that if these characters are presented in front of me I would probably punch them rather than love them and try to understand them like what I think I would do to the TV characters I adored.

Here are some of the characters:

1. Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD from The Big Bang Theory

Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD (portrayed by Jim Parsons) is one of the character in The Big Bang Theory. The series centered around the life of four physics geniuses: Leonard Hofstadter, an experimental physicist; Sheldon Cooper, a theoretical physicist; Rajesh Koothrappali, an astrophysicist,  and Howard Wolowitz, an aerospace engineer who worked in Caltech University. The main story is about Leonard who falls in love with the new neighbor, Penny, a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory. Their love story focuses on the amusing fact that Leonard, who is  super genius and nerdy, tries to date Penny, who is a high school prom queen with the fame and beauty.

Sheldon is Leonard's roommate. He has certain quirks that drive his friends crazy. He's a genius who realize his power of mind. As a result, he's self-centered, always feels he's better than everyone else, condescending, and loves himself more than anything else. His mom is a devoted Christian so their relationship is funny to watch because Sheldon is clearly an evolutionist while his mom is a creationist. Sheldon can't drive, so his friends have to take him whenever he needs. His impossibly large ego cause him to be unable to care about his friends being. Everyone has to cater to his needs. He has an annoying habit to give lectures to everyone, mainly because he feels like he knows everything. This particular habit forces his friend to follow what he wants just so he would shut up.

2. Barney Stinson, from How I Met Your Mother

Barney Stinson, portrayed by Neil Patrick Harris, is one of Ted Mosby's best friend in How I Met Your Mother series. He has some famous catchphrases, such as: "Suit Up!" and "Tonight is gonna be legend, wait for it, dary!"

HIMYM is a sitcom show about how the main character, Ted Mosby, met his wife. The show has a unique set up: Ted  narrates his love story to his children about how he met their mother which then played by the actors in a series of flash backs. HIMYM characters are Ted Mosby, an architect; Marshall Eriksen, a law student which later become an environmental lawyer; Lily Aldrin, a kindergarten teacher who loves art; Robin Scherbatsky, a Canadian TV reporter; and Barney Stinson, an awesome person (as he always said, because none of his friends seems to know what he did for living, even after the show reaches its 8th season).

Barney is basically a rascal. He keeps inventing elaborate acts to deceive women to sleep with him. He has all sorts of tricks that he put in The Playbook. He never listen to what anybody says. He just act as he wants, whenever he wants. He's the type of person who thinks that women are sex objects. Well, not all women, just bimbos, but still..

3. Gregory House, from House M.D

Gregory House, portrayed by Hugh Laurie, is a medical doctor specializes in diagnostic. He has his own team consists of 3 young doctors: dr. Allison Cameron, an Immunologist; dr. Robert Chase, a Surgeon and Intensivist; and dr. Eric Foreman, a neurologist. The story is about House, a diagnostician working with his team to diagnose patients that come with strange symptoms. The show is set up like many crime-solving series, so it's interesting to watch. House is working for a hospital in New Jersey under hospital administrator and Dean of Medicine, dr. Lisa Cuddy. His ability is off the record, he is the best in his field. However, his personality often causes him troubles among his colleagues.

House rarely talks to his patients because in his mind, everyone lies. He diagnoses patient based on their medical records and his keen insight. He is like Sherlock Holmes of medical world. His treatments are often controversial. He doesn't quite care with hospital rules and often disobey them to get what he wants. He thinks unexplained diseases are like puzzles. He has to know the answer and he doesn't care if he have to manipulate patients' families as long as he got the answer he needed. He's a genius, and his lack of social skills probably works effectively in his field. But what would you do if you meet an actual person with his personality?

Crossroad

Here is another crossroad. One path will lead to the perfect destination, the other to the end of a dead end. Where you are now, define who you are now. Where you will be, define who you will be. And then, who will you be?

Where you stand right now, is a dream come true. A place you thought you would never be. So you embrace it. At least for now. But you see changes ahead. Changes you might not like. But then again, what changes do you like?

Spotlight

Life is a grand theatrical stage, and WE are the performers.
All of us. None are destined to be the audiences. We are all performers.
We perform for other performers who haven't had the chance to perform. Not yet.
Soon, they'll perform for us while we sit and wait. Waiting for the perfect time for our next performance.

The problem is, every stage has a spotlight. Shining bright to our head. Lining every inch of our body, creating a magnificent silhouette of beauty and perfection. And we LOVE the spotlight. Oh, how we are eagerly waiting for it to shine upon us. How we will sit in jealousy every time it's shining everyone else. That spotlight. The feel of being the center of everything. Every extras, every property, every little scene are revolving around us. Depend on us. Our single move will change the whole play. Oh, how we love to be recognized. To be thanked, to be worshiped.

Standing in the center of the stage, feeling the warmth of the light. Doing everything we want to do. No one to tell us no. The only thing we'll see is our only perfection. Our only decisions. Our self. Because that white light that gives us the power to play God, leaves us blind in the process. We can't see who else is out there. We can't see who are cheering when we fall or booing when we stand. We can't differ a throwing knife from a helping hand. The only thing we'll see is the light itself. Shining bright and white.

Branded

As you may know, I'm a bit of a movie freak. I watched a lot of movies and TV series of all genre (preferably thriller, :D). This time, I want to write about a particular scene of a famous 2002 movie called The Pianist. In short, it's about the life of a Jewish Pianist (portrayed by Adrien Brody) in the middle of German invasion. You may have heard in your history class before about holocaust or Nazi. There are actually several great films about the holocaust, one of which is The Pianist, the other is Schindler's List, and another movie that you may have seen not too long ago is Inglorious Bastards.

To me, the holocaust is a horrible tragedy and people need to see the real conditions during that time so that nobody would want to do such thing ever again. The way the Germans treated Jewish people really got me mad. Some of their acts are really violent, inhuman, or pure evil. If you watch one of these movies and feel nothing, perhaps you should see a therapist to check if you have psychopathic tendencies.

Okay, back to what I was about to write. The movie portrayed the life of Jewish people in Poland. During that time, German government published an article in the newspaper about branding the Jewish people so that they are known among the crowd. They were ordered to wear a white linen on their right sleeves with a Star of David symbol sewn to it.

Because of this brand, Jewish people were easily discriminated. They weren't allowed to eat in restaurants, use public transports, even walk on the sidewalk. In the end, the Germans built a closed housing complex and put all Jewish people inside so that the city became Jewish-free. This complex was what caused the rebellion later on.

This maybe is a movie-plot, a story written by someone and then put nicely in big screen. But this is really what happened. Years ago when the Germans think that they are part of superior race and that everyone else are beneath them. Sadly, in this era there are still some people who think they are above everybody. Aryan Brotherhood is an example although they are no longer focus in racism but more in the criminality to obtain more money.

They say we should learn from history, and we did. We can't tell people to sewn a white linen with distinctive symbol like what the Germans did. But we learn to brand people in more subtle way. We meet new people almost everyday. We see, and we brand them by the way they look, the way they walk, the way they smell, the way they talk. These days, our brands are not as simple as a distinctive symbol. We brand with words inside our head. Handsome. Beautiful. Smart. Elitist. Egotist. Religious. Liar. Et cetera, et cetera.

Are we better than the Germans during holocaust? Most definitely! We don't brand people to be killed later on, we brand them following our specific criteria. Then, we decide whether or not we want to know them, to be friends with them, to help them when in need. What I'm saying is that we can't stop branding people, and we'll definitely be branded by those people around us. I just hope that the brands we're giving to people will not come and bite us in the ass later.

The Art Of Giving

There's a story in the Bible about an old widow who gives all of her money to the church. This old widow only has 2 copper coins on her, and she put all of it away in the offerings box. Jesus then called out his disciples and stated that this widow has given more than everyone else, because she gave an offerings out of her poverty. Here's the exact quotes from Marc 12: 41-44 of World English Bible:

⁴¹ Jesus sat down opposite the treasury, and saw how the multitude cast money into the treasury. Many who were rich cast in much. ⁴² A poor widow came, and she cast in two small brass coins, which equal a quadrant coin. ⁴³ He called his disciples to himself, and said to them, “Most certainly I tell you, this poor widow gave more than all those who are giving into the treasury, ⁴⁴ for they all gave out of their abundance, but she, out of her poverty, gave all that she had to live on.”

Now, I'm not much of a religious person. I'm not even a religious Christian. But I went to Catholic schools and I listened to many stories in the Bible. This one is almost my favorite.  I was amazed by the sacrifices the widow did. From other version of the Bible (I forgot which), it is written that all the rich people who gave a large amount of offerings were whispering in disgrace by what the widow did because she only put 2 coppers. It happens way too often in our everyday lives. Most people think if they have given certain amount of money than that would be enough. Sure, money helps and it's good to share it to others in need. For some people who don't have anything to give, they still can give all their might, their time and their strength to help others.

To me, this particular story is engraved in my heart so that I can always give without the hope of accepting anything in return. And I'm still trying..